Traditional Family Law: Connecting Marriage with Children

http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2011/12/4397

From A Talk that Didn't Happen...Challenged myself.

I was reminded this weekend of this talk. I was thinking in the shower how I must become more intentional and proactive toward proclaiming the good news because I live in a bubble. I work at a Christian school where the staff are believers, I attend seminary, church is my life (community, ministry, involvement) etc. It's more than just proclaiming him on social networks. I live in a lost world, I must GO out even more because of my context. It hasn't always been like this and I could engage my unbelieving brother or sister more fluidly but now I feel challenged even more. 

Below is from a 'talk' that I had to do, that I ended up not doing because it got cancelled. The task was to speak on Anna and how she was as "true witness." 

Text: Luke 2:36-38

Context: Luke of the synoptic gospels was written in a form of letter that really sheds light on the details and facts surrounding Jesus. Luke was a physician, so the examining of details and logic was probably the personality and approach of his authorship. Little, sweet, baby Jesus : ) has been born and as a Jewish custom, “according to the Law of Moses,” they were to present their newborn to the Lord and offer a sacrifice. Jesus had been presented to the Lord in the temple and Anna was also present. The promised had been fulfilled! God had done exactly what He had promised to His people, to Anna’s father Phanuel, to The tribe of Asher, her ancestors!! The Son of God had come to reconcile them to God!

·         What were they waiting on? What is it like apart from God? We see in the Old Testament this saga of up and down disobedience, restoration, call to repentance, repentance, God being merciful, still offering Hope and then they turn away….JUST the RESULTS of SIN!  “Everyone did what was right in their own eyes”

          1.  Judges 2:16-23

          2.  Isaiah 8:16-17; 9:2,6-7

          3.  Jeremiah 29:12-14

          4.  Lamentations 5:1-22

Message: So you can see what the Hype is about? Luke 2:38—“she began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to ALL who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem.” She was part of that ALL. I can imagine her in the temple seeing the scriptures being consummated and filled with wonder and awe. She then closes her eyes picturing the glorious God and Creator of the Universe, humbling himself and is now this little sweet child. Cuts to Him preaching and telling the people the message of salvation. Her vision then cuts to Him being beaten, persecuted and ultimately crucified. She’s tormented until she views the resurrection, Him rising with all power in His hands with righteousness and justice for All. Seeing her sins nailed to the Cross, hoping in eternal life and finally being able to worship the King. (Which was approaching…because she was old..."wearing dentures old" I presume) And then that VERY HOUR she’s goes and tells people about the Savior…Her Savior.

Anna had a motive and a purpose. ORGANIC…flowed out of the natural response to this wonderful “event” and her new “position” (justification, salvation). Again, this is not a character sermon: "Be Like Anna. Do this, to be like Anna." But the reference to Anna in this text shows us the goal and posture of a believer…which all points back to the person and work of Jesus Christ.

• Motive—The Gospel was her motivation. Anna was so in love with Christ and understood the great implication of seeing that little baby being presented at the temple toward fulfilling the covenant that God promised his people…his church. This compelled her to tell of His wonderful news. This motivation should be the force behind serving Him and serving this world. You know to “Witness” I.E. Ministries of Compassion can easily turn into works-righteousness.

          1. II Corinthians 5:14-21

Commonplace—right where she was; purpose as a woman…Helper, life-giver---discipling women

          2. Proverbs 31:8-9, Isaiah 1:17, Hebrews13:1-3,

• Purpose---Catechism: The chief end of man is to glorify God and adore Him forever. 
• The Hebrew word for glory is “Kavod;Kabod” meaning weight. Anna knew the value of Jesus. We can see in our lives what we give value to which is what we ultimately give glory too. I.e. time, money, where we spend our time+ usually we’ll see that our purposes are to show glory to ourselves. (See Pastor Gay's Selfish Ambition Sermon). 

          A.W. Tozer “Sometimes I go to God and say, "God, if Thou dost never answer another prayer while I live on this earth, I will still worship Thee as long as I live and in the ages to come for what Thou hast done already. " God’s already put me so far in debt that if I were to live one million millenniums I couldn’t pay Him for what He’s done for me. (Worship: The Missing Jewel, 24).” 

Anna's purpose was to proclaim the gospel not anything aside for that. I Corinthians 2:2 “For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. (Paul said I didn’t come in lofty speech or wisdom, but fear trembling…but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God).

          

*Romans 1:15-6: I am eager to preach the gospel to you also who are in Rome 16: For I am not ashamed of the Gospel for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes to the Jew first and also the Greek.

Duh!

This may be obvious, but as I was getting my daily fix from particular blogs and online news that I frequent and tickle my interest, I realized that I am on Day 9 of my "social media" fast and that a part of my social media networks include this one! Lol! Well duh but I never really connected the dots. In the meantime, the hymn " I am Thine O Lord," says it best my objective and my hope during this "master cleanse." LOL plus I am believing God on some specific things, seeking to hear from Him through His word, getting disciplined by grace, regaining focus and I have picked up some great literature during a visit to the library (I get a rush checking out books that I want but don't have to purchase. Total frugal-dork move)! I am excited and humbled. These past few days have caused a mirror to go up and...I am not liking what I see. I'll be journaling, perhaps some will hit here. (Its not like anyone really reads this thing, so none of this probably does not even matter. However my intentions are to inform and engage no matter how random these blog posts may be and for sake of consistency because some juicy things have been ruminating as indicated from my previous posts...anyway, I totally digress...)

See ya alligator. After while crocodile. : )  

I am Thine, O Lord, I have heard Thy voice,
And it told Thy love to me;
But I long to rise in the arms of faith
And be closer drawn to Thee.

Refrain
Draw me nearer, nearer blessèd Lord,
To the cross where Thou hast died.
Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer blessèd Lord,
To Thy precious, bleeding side.

Consecrate me now to Thy service, Lord,
By the power of grace divine;
Let my soul look up with a steadfast hope,
And my will be lost in Thine.

Refrain

O the pure delight of a single hour
That before Thy throne I spend,
When I kneel in prayer, and with Thee, my God
I commune as friend with friend!

Refrain

There are depths of love that I cannot know
Till I cross the narrow sea;
There are heights of joy that I may not reach
Till I rest in peace with Thee.

Refrain

Contradiction?

Read an interesting article today regarding those that do not believe that women should be Pastors,  that vote for a female president and other gender debates. It has provoked me toward another "homework assignment." Hahahaha plus my ideas have evolved in this area. Looking forward to some time to journal on this topic and Black Folk and Obama. Now, that I've transitioned back to NC and I am in a routine it would incite me to do so! So excited to share about my recent experiences also dealing with a community of justice. God's been faithful.

~Ash

Black Folk and the Obama Administration Pt. 1: hmmmm

January 20, 2009 I watched the T.V. overcome with emotion as America's first black president was being inaugurated. You see a little over 50 years ago this momentous and historical event wouldn't have been imagined and several hundred years before that black people were not even deemed as humans but as chattel or property. Now, at a time where blacks have seemingly been afforded "freedom" and "opportunity" in the "land of the free" it is still clear that racial and social tensions are still prevalent. In a fractured and fallen world this is to be expected. And as a result, African-American's have a special cord when it comes to President Obama and the Obama Administration. He represents so much, however it seems that African-American's (whatever their partisanship) defensive nature also allows a sort of glaze over the issues and blind approach to the interpretation of how certain legislation and value systems affect us.

I came across this article by Star Parker and I am looking for another article that is a counterbalance to this one. The title says it all: 

"Why Do Blacks Still Let Obama Off the Hook:" 

Why do blacks still let Obama off the hook?

Almost a half-century since the passage of the Civil Rights Act, too many blacks still don't want to be free and accept the responsibilities that go with it.

Monday, July 18, 2011by Star Parker
A Chicago Sun Times article, headlined "The disappearing black middle class," reports on the disproportionate impact of these hard economic times on blacks.

According to the data, taken from the Washington-based Economic Policy Institute, median net worth of white households fell from $134,280 in 2004 to $97,860 in 2009, while over the same period median black household net worth went from $13, 450 to $2,170.

The national unemployment rate stands at 9.2 percent, while black unemployment is over 16 percent.

There's more, but you get the picture. The nation has been hit hard, but blacks much harder.
Which raises a point of interest.

Approval rates for President Barack Obama among whites have dropped from 56 percent in early 2009 after he became president to 39 percent now -- a drop of 17 points. But over this same period, Obama's approval rating among blacks has dropped just 8 points from 93 percent to 85 percent.

Many whites that initially had supported our president are now crediting him for our current misery. But blacks, despite suffering far more, are far less inclined to hang it on Obama.

The message that massive government spending and borrowing does not grow the economy has not reached blacks. Rather, like our president, they seem to believe that the problem is we just haven't yet dug the fiscal hole deep enough.

Is this a racial thing? Whites will jump off the ship run by a black captain in a minute while blacks will ride it out until it hits the iceberg?

No, I don't think so. I think it's both a liberal information thing and a moral thing.

The liberal information thing is that blacks overwhelmingly get their information from liberal sources.

Blacks watch CNN and MSNBC, not Fox. They listen to urban black radio.

They are not going to hear from these sources that if you look all over the world, nations with the most prosperous economies are the ones with the most limited governments. Liberal media refuses to get and pass the word that socialism has failed.

The major organizations that supposedly represent black interests are all on the left, generously funded by big left wing white foundations and by our nation's corporations. The former do it because they are liberals and the latter do it to show that they are not racist.

And, like the Economic Policy Institute, that produced the data reported in the Sun Times article, they are supported by unions.

But I think more corrosive is the moral thing.

Almost a half-century since the passage of the Civil Rights Act, too many blacks still don't want to be free and accept the responsibilities that go with it. Too many blacks still believe that the condition of their lives is caused by what someone else does or has.

It is sad that this is true despite the fact that blacks go to church more often, pray more often, and say religion plays a central part in their life more than any other ethnic group in the nation.

Why do a people so inclined to turn to God so readily violate the Tenth Commandment's prohibition on covetousness and measure themselves in terms of what others have? And then use this sin to justify violating the Eighth Commandment and give government license to steal what others have in order to redistribute?

Perhaps most fundamentally, how can a church going people buy into the materialism of socialism?

There is a solution to the general travails of our nation and the particular travails of our black brothers and sisters.

It is called every man and woman taking personal responsibility for their lives, turning to government for protection of life and property -- not redemption, and living as free people according to traditional biblical mores.

Star Parker is president of the Center for Urban Renewal & Education and author of the re-released book Uncle Sam's Plantation.

Jeremiah 29:11

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for the wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

This scripture is often quoted in Christian circles. It has provided me with comfort during times of uncertainty and reminds me that God has my back. If it is one thing that I've learned while in seminary is how to better interpret scripture.  What has been most rewarding is learning how to read/'preach' the Old Testament as Christian Scripture. That doesn't mean that OT is not read as Christian scripture but often times stories/scriptures from the Old Testament are taught like "fables" or "character" stories: "Do this like Ruth! Don't do this Like Adam." What's often missing is how does this relate to the center and frame of reference of the Bible: The person and work of Jesus Christ.

Often times I think Christians (including myself), read into scripture themselves as the point of reference. Most times when I hear my friends referring to this scripture it usually is like the peanut butter spread on their dreams or their plans. I've done it also. Don't get me wrong I still think that there is hope in this verse and implicates Jesus as this hope. However, that verse was given at a time where the people of Judah were threatened exile and were in political despair...not during a time where they were in school or branched out unto a new business or were pursuing a new relationship.

Jeremiah throughout the book seems to KEEP warning the people against impending judgment and to urge the people of Judah to come back to a complete dependence in the Lord. Jeremiah 29 brings the reader back to the Hope that is found in the Lord and gives the people a glimpse of restoration at this point in the text. I would like to think if we compare the context of when this was written to a present day application more than likely we would most often see "the peanut butter spread (or what ever spread you'd like) over our lives. Here it seems that God is motivating them not toward whatever "dream" or "plan" that they have to elevate themselves will come to pass but most importantly the peanut butter spread is the "new covenant" (Jer.31). In this book, a true reform needed to take place politically and in the hearts of the people. This hope and promise of wholeness and future could refer to freedom from the exile and destruction that Jeremiah had been prophesying. God was playing no games! Telling them they will see horror, destruction, famine...its not a good picture. But God also displays his mercy and compassion. The people needed a DIVINE intervention literally.

Yes, this text provides us with an assurance for those that are in Christ. But more than any plan, or hope in the future can be taken as a security that we have been forgiven as sinners because we were in need of a Savior and our eternal destination secure. We hold to the promise that He shall return and sin will be no more.

I am sorry but more than my future success, or idea of marriage, thought of children, vocation, career, travel, what I'll eat for dinner tonight or any of MY plans that I want God to see through doesn't compare to the hope found in Jesus. He knows the plans he has for me and that is (Jer 29: 12-14 " you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will hear you. You will seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the Lord..." ) compared to ( Jer 24:10 " and I will send sword, famine, and pestilience upon them, until they shall be utterly destroyed from the land that I gave to them and their fathers.") It just places things into perspective and I am most certainly reading Jeremiah 29:11a little differently!

Hebrews 9:15, 24-27:

15Therefore he is the mediator of a new covenant, so that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance, since a death has occurred that redeems them from the transgressions committed under the first covenant.....24 For Christ has entered, not into holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true things, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf. 25 Nor was it to offer himself repeatedly, as the high priest enters the holy places every year with blood not his own, 26 for then he would have had to suffer repeatedly since the foundation of the world. But as it is, he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself. 27 And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment, 28 so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.

....Throwback..."All day long I think on these things..."

I've been having a throwback kind of week. This is from one of my favorite gospel albums and I think one of Fred's best. This album was dear to me at such a vulnerable time in my life and faith as a child. I was reminded today:

Gay Marriage Another Blow to the African American Family « Freedoms Journal

Check out Shelby Steele's comment towards the end...#pow.

Gay Marriage Another Blow to the African American Family « Freedoms Journal

DOMA Hearing & Bending the Arc of the Moral Universe toward Compromise

July 24, 2011, New York was the 6th state to approve same-sex marriage. Wednesday, July 20th I attended the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) repeal hearing. The DOMA Act was passed into law in September, 1996. This act sought to preserve and protect the institution of marriage. Section 3 of the act defines marriage as meaning “only a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife, and the word ‘spouse’ refers only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.” Section 2 is just as important as defining marriage as it imparts the law, defining the rights of the states in which our constitution was formed to protect, ensuring that “no state, territory, or possession of the US, or Indian tribe shall be required to give effect to any public act, record or judicial proceeding of any other State, territory, possession, or tribe respecting a relationship between persons of the same sex that is treated as a marriage under the laws of such other State, territory, possession or tribe, or a right or claim arising from such relationship.”

The DOMA hearing’s opening remarks by Chairman Leahy, described DOMA (which he voted for in 1996) as going against family dignity and applauded Obama’s endorsement of the Respect of Marriage Act. Senator Feinstein who introduced the Respect of Marriage Act defined the hearing as a “historic day.” The Respect of Marriage act repeals section 2 of DOMA and amends the definition of marriage and signifies “for the purposes of any federal law in which marital status is a factor, an individual shall be considered married if that individual's marriage is valid in the state where the marriage was entered into or, in the case of a marriage entered into outside any state, if the marriage is valid in the place where entered into and the marriage could have been entered into in a state.” It would also take out the definition of spouse as defined by DOMA.

The hearing consisted of emotional stirring stories about same-sex couples who had partners preceding them in death causing them to be in financial turmoil. Actually, most of the stories were about financial decline and less about actually reclaiming the “value” of marriage. According to same-sex marriage supporters this “value” of marriage should be afforded to all those that choose to marry because of, as Chairman Leahy says, it is “fundamental to people’s lives…the affect of DOMA goes well beyond the harm of family’s dignity.” That is what I thought the “big deal” was about? I think this also gives room to deconstruct same-sex marriage supporter’s primary argument. I will address this later on.

Although I will not exhaust the list of arguments for and against DOMA I will just touch on a few:

Those in support of DOMA repeal:

1. That it does not provide same-sex couples with financial benefits afforded to them by the federal government. This would include benefits like spousal benefits for federal employees, health insurance benefits, FMLA benefits, veteran benefits, tax benefits etc. In addition to these benefits, according to The Williams Institute same-sex couples “are treated as legal strangers” when it comes to inheritance tax.

2. Same-Sex Marriage should be socially accepted because it is a family value. According to The Williams Institute, “marriage is the social institution that largely governs intimate relations in the United States. As a result, they feel DOMA is perpetuating a stigma towards the LGBT community that further causes an emotional burden on couples and families. Finally, it has the likelihood to destroy families; those same sex couples who have children. It would send mixed messages to their children and would also create fear of financial tensions that would cause inability to raise their children well.

Those in defense of DOMA:

1. As one of the DOMA panelist asked, “why is government in the marriage business?” could best be a guiding question toward establishing those that are in support of DOMA. The repeal would not be representative of the American people’s values. Austin Nimmocks, Attorney with the Alliance Defense Fund, cited a National Research Survey conducted in May that stated 62% of American people agree that a union should between one man and one woman. “It’s not a just a law or creature of statute but a social institution that has universally crossed all political, religious, sociological, geographical and historical lines” said Nimmocks. Repealing DOMA would mean that the states whose voters have defined marriage as a union between a man and woman would have to accept other definitions and benefits based on these definitions on other states. This seems unfair to the other states that have defined marriage as such and would be unconscionable.

2. The interest that Government has on marriage is because it has a return, an economic gain. More importantly, the outcome of opposite-married couples is procreation which same-sex couples cannot do. This is not an attack on same-sex couples, but is just as much a promotion of healthy, whole marriages. Studies have shown that those that have children in healthy married homes have the highest net worth, combat child poverty and promote emotionally stable children.

Senator Franken tried to break down the Christian ministry: “ Focus and the Family” Tom Minnery’s justification for the beneficial outcomes of children living in an opposite-sex, married couple’s home as opposed to a same-sex, married couple’s home, because of Minnery's use and interpretation of the concept “nuclear” in the research that he was using. Franken, claimed that the report did not define the family as having, one man and one woman and in fact the report could be in favor of same-sex couples. Those in opposition of DOMA use the very same argument as conservatives regarding children growing in a healthy, loving home. However, there is only small amount of same-sex couples who have children and not enough data to demonstrate any correlation to support their arguments. This was extremely debilitating for conservatives, but ADF attorney Nimmocks was there to get the ball back in the conservative court.

Reflection:

I think it is extremely counterintuitive to repeal DOMA on the grounds that it is against family values or strengthening the “value” of marriage. When all of the arguments in support of repeal are mostly about federal benefits? How far is really too far? What does having recognition of marriage between same-sex couples on state and federal levels have anything to do with “value?” It is because it has everything to do with agenda. I want to ask why this word is being loosely thrown around and where does this value come from? And once this is established where does this value leave marriage? Well, Susan Murray answered this question. Susan Murray was on the panel for the repeal of DOMA. What was interesting was her very testimony, could have in my opinion been used against the repeal. She talked about how she grew up in a “normal” home (implicating that her current lifestyle is not normal) where she had a mother and a father who were devoted to their children. Her parent’s marriage was deemed as a model of success and she desired to have that. Murray asserted that marriage is universal and the model of her parents caused her to believe in it more. Murray a family lawyer then used stories to show how DOMA could affect same-sex couples. Murray referred to a couple who had a child, Jane stayed at home while Cheryl worked. Cheryl was killed in a car accident. Following the death of her partner she was in financial devastation because she couldn’t receive parent social security benefits. Although this story is very touching and provides us with much sympathy, there is no distinction on what it means toward the “value” of marriage. Going back to her original story about the value placed between her parents. Now if we said “value” of marriage as money, then that is the case. However, we know it is not. Murray said it herself , “normal” for purposes of defining marriage, was between a father and mother who loved each other and stayed with one another, devoted to their children.

The value of marriage is not just accessing federal benefits and it should not be defined by government. That is what is missing from this debate. Additionally, all people face the same financial threats. If that were the case we should sign every bill that would potentially be a financial disadvantage to American people. If you do not want to tread on the religious waters of defining marriage you can tread on its social conception, I think. It has been defined by the sociological origin of humanity…to procreate, joining one man and one woman together creating families to contribute to a thriving society. Although religious liberty is said to not be threatened if the repeal of DOMA goes through, religious institutions do not have to formalize or perform same sex marriages in violations of its faith. And although religion does not command civil law, it does shape what I personally endorse and believe in.

Senator Coons exclaimed that he is married and a Christian and that his faith should not inform his politics or “empower him to have a monopoly on the interpretation of the will of God.” He further went on to say that when New York passed same-sex marriage bill, ‘his wedding ring and marriage did not magically dissolve or disappear…the bill is about restoring rights not taking away.”

Well Senator Coons, I am a Christian and I believe wholeheartedly in what the Bible says as it brings form to the Christian faith. One pivotal point in the Bible, the story of God’s redemptive plan, starts with God fashioning one man and one woman in his image for his unique and divine purposes. Creating a sacred relationship that emulates God being Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Although, I do not want to get in a theological conundrum it is important and I think is principal that our faith does inform our political and social worldviews. Just like Jesus was a great example and offered a unadulterated, moral witness, Christians are also called.

 Senator Schumer, (who is in support of the repeal) closed with this quote from Martin Luther King Jr., which was quoted wrongly and used for evocative purposes: “The ark of history is long it bends in the direction of justice.” Martin Luther King’s actual quote which was taken from Theodore Parker, was “ let us realize the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.” Let’s put this quote in context Senator Schumer and for all those that try to say that the gay agenda is akin to the civil rights movement. That is mockery and as a black person I cannot tolerate it.

What Martin Luther King also said in the speech that contained the aforementioned quote to the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) was this:

“If you will let me be a preacher just a little bit - One night, a juror came to Jesus and he wanted to know what he could do to be saved. Jesus didn't get bogged down in the kind of isolated approach of what he shouldn't do. Jesus didn't say, "Now Nicodemus, you must stop lying." HE didn't say, "Nicodemus, you must stop cheating if you are doing that." He didn't say, "Nicodemus, you must not commit adultery." He didn't say, "Nicodemus, now you must stop drinking liquor if you are doing that excessively." He said something altogether different, because Jesus realized something basic - that if a man will lie, he will steal. And if a man will steal, he will kill. So instead of just getting bogged down in one thing, Jesus looked at him and said, "Nicodemus, you must be born again."

He said, in other words, "Your whole structure must be changed." A nation that will keep people in slavery for 244 years will "thingify" them - make them things. Therefore they will exploit them, and poor people generally, economically. And a nation that will exploit economically will have to have foreign investments and everything else, and will have to use its military might to protect them. All of these problems are tied together. What I am saying today is that we must go from this convention and say, "America, you must be born again!"

Finally, and I will not expound on this too much because it tells of itself about how this quote was used in context, shows that Martin Luther King Jr. would not agree with what a lot of gay rights leaders are using to provoke their movement:

Let us realize that William Cullen Bryant is right: "Truth crushed to earth will rise again." Let us go out realizing that the Bible is right: "Be not deceived, God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." This is our hope for the future, and with this faith we will be able to sing in some not too distant tomorrow with a cosmic past tense, "We have overcome, we have overcome, deep in my heart, I did believe we would overcome."

Justice: Having God suffer humanity, die on the cross for a sin-sick people so that we may be forgiven of our sins and not suffer the wrath that we imminently deserved. Loving us by sending his son Jesus as the atoning sacrifice and that through him we may be reconciled and receive eternal life. Now we remain hopeful and are strengthened by His Holy-Spirit while we await his return. That is justice and that is justice I seek to proclaim. I love my homosexual brothers and sisters but I would not be an advocate of justice if I didn’t stand for Jesus and that is in truth and LOVE.

DOMA, Black Folk and the Obama Administration

Posts Coming Soon...

It's been a busy week on the Hill and personally. Grateful and Growing.

~Wiley

Islam in the Age of New Media

I wrote this in an Op-Ed article (assignment) in March:

“About a month ago, I was out to dinner with a friend and she asks, ‘Have you heard of the protests in Egypt? The people there are irate! The country is in disarray and the people are not going down without a fight until the government and social issues are resolved!’ In the next breath, she asks, “and what is this going on about Charlie Sheen? Apparently, he’s all wacked out and in desperate need of rehab.’  One may think that she’s gotten this information from the local newspaper or television broadcast. Maybe if this was more than ten years ago, she would have received this up-to-date, fresh, news or gossip off these outlets or even in the tabloids. No, she’s gotten this information off the social networking site, Twitter. Pivotal news or the latest entertainment, sports, political, and social scoop are available in “real-time,” “play-by-play” on the popular social networking sites: Twitter, Facebook or Flickr to name a few. Information is shaped by the very audience that public relation’s clients are trying to reach. Prevalent news networks such as CNN, BBC, and NPR are even joining social media sites like Twitter and FaceBook to get information across to their audiences.”

Not only has this “new” digital age of media transformed how people communicate and connect but it has also been adapted as a communication tool for religion as well. The social science of this is also relevant in the realm of religion and socio-religious discourse.

Freedom House supports and seeks to expand political and religious rights of people globally. They work towards their goal through advocacy efforts, research and international programs. Freedom House is a non-profit, non-partisan organization. Their website description describes them as “a clear voice for democracy and freedom around the world.”  Today, Freedom House held a panel titled “Islam in the Age of New Media.” Panelist included Amir Ahmad Nasr, whose efforts help to prompt the scope of the panel. Nasr is a digital media and marketing consultant and popular blogger and curator of the online audio seminar: “The Future of Islam in the Age of New Media.” http://www.islamintheageofnewmedia.com/. Along with Nasr were Journalist Endy M. Bayuni and Courtney Radsch, Senior Program Officer of the Global Freedom of Expression Campaign.

The panelist spoke on the dynamics of social media in the Muslim world. This is especially significant because Islam extends to every part of a Muslim’s life.  Bayuni started out and was clear in stating that just because Indonesia has a large population does not make Indonesia a Muslim nation. People there are free to convert to any religion they choose. His point of reference was in context with Indonesia holding the 2^nd largest market for Facebook and the 3^rd for Twitter. The panelist emphasized that social media is how Muslims especially young Muslims are receiving information about religion, whereas they may not get to explore or establish and expand upon their worldview the traditional way. Bayuni quoted a verse from the Qur’an, where the Prophet Muhammad admonished the reader to simply: “read.” This he said means that Muslims should always seek to gain more knowledge and learn more. Engaging in social media is a practical application of that scripture.  Nasr mentioned that Islam in the age of new media best demonstrates that Islam is not just one monolithic religion. The real dilemma that social media addresses is the “crisis of authority,” Nasr said. Nasr said, “In the Islamic world Imams consider themselves authoritative but they’re really authoritarian.” The new media allows this new form of authority in essence to create a more “democratic” way of evolving one’s religious identity. Nasr called for more people that are authoritative to engage young people.

Radsch drew all these parallels together and broke down three ways Islamic practices are being redefined as a result of new media. These concepts could have also been described in other religion’s “practices,” along with corporate and organizational use of social media. These were:

Itjihad--independent judgment, critical thought;

Ijma--Consensus building;

Ishad—and witnessing.

Something that stuck out to me that Nasr was sure to point out, is that new media creates virtual spaces that help to change stereotypes of Muslims and differentiate them from radical Islam beliefs. Bayuni was even bold enough to say that social media is replacing parents and Imam’s.  

Below is popular social media personality (has received almost a half a million hits on some of his videos). This guys talks on cultural issues, religion, faith and distinguish between Islam and Radical Islam. This was funny to me:

I asked the question to the panel that was more directed to Nasr and Radsch because they seemed so optimistic about new media’s impact even though there was not much scientific, economic or empirical research that they referred to on how social media has really engaged Islam culture. Like most cultural trends there are always an element that may threaten part of that culture, there are also threats of misuse.  This would result in the trend becoming not so “favorable.” I asked what were some present and potential threats or challenges new media may pose for Islam. He responded, “I think Islam will become more diverse, eclectic due to new media. For the most part, this is good thing.”

Now as an evangelical, Christian I feel that because this discussion has taken place both in Islamic and Christian groups. What a great way to use new media to engage in a dialogue with my fellow Muslim brother or sister and share the Gospel to them. This would mean still using the same method of approach, when shaping a Muslim’s view about God, with truth and love. 

Religious Persecution and a Picture of Human Dignity

Just left the Washington Time's: " Stop Religious Persecution Now!: Interactive Discussion for People of All Faiths" co-sponsored with the Universal Peace Federation USA and The Washington Times Foundation.  The program was set up in 4 major sections: Religious Freedom and U.S. Foreign Policy, Persecuted Faith Groups, Public Policy Affecting the Current Session of Congress  and a Media Workshop. These sections integrated key people from various religious, advocacy, professional and political backgrounds. Keynote address was from In Jin Moon whose family has financial ties to the Washington Times, ironically before she stepped up to speak, her band called "Sonic Cult" (things that make you go hmmm), performed a Bob Dylan song and some other song that carried the same like sentiment and obviously connected with Moons "church," philosophy: " humans determine their destiny, we are our own Messiah's, obtaining happiness...etc." (sounds like a lot of preaching from Christian pulpits today) I digress...because this was not the point of this post....lol!

To see the picture of various religious groups, faith groups, and racial and ethnic groups coalescing to bring attention and to stop religious persecution was a beautiful sight to see. At this event I was one that represented a Christian worldview, I also saw fit that this beautiful sight posed a great opportunity to show how this picture of human dignity points to Christ. Dr. Barrett Duke demonstrated this point-of-view well in his talk. I don't just say that because of my connection with the ERLC but because he did. He was very intentional with telling the gospel story, he was not offensive but bold. He also converged our worldview in a clear way with the importance of engaging public policy for the human rights of those that are religiously persecuted for their faith, whatever faith they choose or choose not to believe. 

Honestly, religious persecution was not far up there on my list in regards to bringing attention to its social injustice, until recently. It was largely due to my small,  naive conception of this world around me...I've taken advantage of my liberty to worship, read the bible, and practice my faith. Although a Christian nation--that does not necessarily mean this nation advocates for true, biblical, Christ-centered principles--it is far unlikely that I will ever face persecution for my faith. I probably will face more opposition for my gender or skin-color than anything. To imagine the courage, strength and radical faith it would take my international brother or sister to actually proclaim their faith even in light of harm and death is inspiring and shows how much I am a coward! Real talk, sometimes I talk myself OUT OF sharing the gospel often to people. On the other hand, to think that humans would (and often times its other social and religious extremist that persecute other religious groups) is depraved, sad and outright stupid! This is a major issue, especially since Christians are the majority group that are religiously persecuted. 

It wasn't until I visited other countries for missions that I understood the necessity of expanding my scope and interpretation on life outside of little ole Durham, Raleigh or Greensboro---to a larger context North Carolina and an even larger context--other nations. However, this emphasis on human dignity must play out domestically too of course. My friend tweeted today "before you go to the uttermost parts of the earth...say Hi to your neighbor." God knew what he was doing when he commanded us "to not kill, steal, bear false witness against our neighbor, commit adultery, covet...to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves." It provides us with several moral implications and responsibilities. This is one reason why we advocate for the rights of others! 

I take for granted so many liberties, one my religious and two my autonomy because African-Americans are not far removed from its long history of oppression and violence. A lot of its baggage and residue still plays out in our communities today. I digress again. 

This all put me in mind of the following video, it brought me to tears when I first saw it. How precious, sweet and marvelous is your word God! 

Redefining Marriage

The topic of homosexuality is such a tense topic these days. As the 'gay-agenda' has surmounted in this age and transcended to what some say a "civil-rights" issue (which I totally and irrefutably disagree with) has taken on much momentum. My views on this are highly conservative and I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. This institution is the foundation of many social and moral ideals that especially impact our world (especially the black community). Before, I get thrown into the pompous and judgmental pool of ultra-conservatism I would have to make mention that one of my good friends is gay. I actually just talked to her a few days ago, I love her dearly. She knows and understands my stance on her lifestyle but it has not changed the way I relate or am a friend to her and vice versa. The true mark of a Christian, I believe is not being judgmental and rude but with the same depth of love and grace God has shown me as a sinner, I must show to others. This is what I also aim to do. She loved me when I was in a compromising, heterosexual relationship what is the difference loving her in her situation as well? I digress...

....with as much opposition I have for homosexuality as a moral issue, I am also very antagonistic toward government using their methods of power in a way that pushes out American citizen's autonomy. This blog post is motivated by NY law makers vote to legalize same-sex marriage. Well, just when I sought to write on it...ERLC staffer writes the following which explores some but not all of my issues with  the legislation and its implication to redefine marriage.

Posted today, here's the link:  http://erlc.com/article/empire-state-strikes-against-marriage/

All the Single Ladies put your Hands Down!

All the single ladies, all my single ladies...put your hands up? I am not much of TV person largely due to the trash that is on it. So I may be a little behind, but I noticed on my twitter, tweets about the VH1 show, "Single Ladies." The title in itself peeked my curiosity and because I am a "single lady," I was excited to see how I was being represented. The fact that it also highlighted a group of black women made me want to clue in even more. Boy, was I in for disappointment. Check the trailer out: Single Ladies Trailer.

This may be a different tone from me than normal but I am totally annoyed at this show. So, allow my soap box moment. Aside from the poor acting, the representation of women to me was totally repulsive. I also could have not been more disappointed at the portrayal of black, single women on the show. I do not think this gives a good representation of the "single life" and does not provide single women (or any woman with that matter) with an effective message while they are in their "single-hood." First, the message totally lacked values. Throughout the episode all I saw was women unashamedly, flaunting their sexuality around, giving “it” up to men left and right, messages of “do you” at any cost even it meant cheating, lying, and manipulating others. In addition to these dumb, and deplorable messages it seemed like “soft porn.”

I am offended because as a single woman and black, single woman (because the show clearly is aimed toward that demographic) I don’t go throwing my cookies around to every man that I meet or act on every impulse, or seek satisfaction from any type of attention from a man. I don’t throw my sexuality and body around to get sex or attention, and I am waiting until I get married to do the “do”...AND that whole “do you” advice around my way will get your feelings hurt.  I shouldn’t be the only one offended because I know many women that do not indulge themselves in that way also. Some may say well Ashlee you do not have a man.  That has absolutely nothing to do with anything because my offense is still grounded in the fact that it does not paint an accurate picture or promote a good message. I also have gained wisdom from others and my past.

It also provokes one to think that single-hood is one of inadequacy and that as women we should try to be with someone no matter what it takes. It would have helped the “Single Ladies” case if the show was even slightly entertaining! Of course I cannot just speak from morality sake because some may not agree. I can speak from a practical sense. Those women seeking fulfillment in getting physical is counterfeit. Plus they are devaluing their beautiful, powerful, and precious femininity by just seeking to have sex and attention from a man. What type of message is that sending a man?...a lack of empowerment? Who would want to take a woman serious if they so easily succumb to lust and give "it" up so easily. The show just doesn't paint a fair picture of single women, which is my final critique.

I cannot be too upset because at least it portrays just how the world is “wacked out.” It also highlights how women search for identity in things or men. These things or men only leave them empty and unsatisfied, hence the women on the show's  incessant quest for love and validation. It also shows how a distorted view on one’s femininity produces a distorted view of one’s identity...Lisa Ray's character is the epitome of this.

To all my single ladies especially the writers of the show who obviously have a distorted world view I implore them to find the hope and full satisfaction that is found in Jesus Christ. To know that God, humbled himself to become man; loved me so very much that he would take on my sin; died a death that was meant for me; took on the wrath of God in order to reconcile me is incomparable to any earthly desire or love from man. The overwhelming completion that is found by having an identity in Christ will make the single life that much more fruitful. I cannot say...because of our natural tendency to want love from a man will go away and we’ll inherit super powers to overcome those feelings...especially when all those around us are getting married or getting in relationships etc. However, single-hood is so rewarding because we have such liberty to go through life and experience things that others may not. Plus, oh how much more devoted we can be to God. You can also have a great time exploring what you like, your womanhood, make a few mistakes, grow and learn! 

I Peter 2: 9-10

Colossians 1:21-22

Romans 6: 8-10

1 Corinthians 7:32-35

A New Normal

From: http://www.theologyforwomen.org/2011/06/new-normal.html
So relevant...

A New Normal

I have had a few circumstances over the last 4 years that have grown and changed me. Inevitably, it is hard, not easy, circumstances that change us deeply.

Three years ago this month, my aunt was murdered. I remember my sister's story of the moment she had to tell my family. They were all on family vacation in the mountains. My sister got the call on her cell phone from another aunt. She told me she just stared at the scene in front of her--everyone enjoying the mountain air and time together as family--knowing that the news she had to share would change everything. It was a surreal moment. She did tell everyone, and nothing has been the same. Three years have passed. It's fully incorporated into our lives now. It's the new normal.

I've been thinking about this new normal. What has changed now? Besides all the obvious changes surrounding such a tragic loss, the foundation of change in my personal life has been, simply, my perspective. God shook the snow globe of my life, and some truths that were obscured by complacency have now taken a more prominent place in my thinking. Here are some truths that are front and center now.

1) This world is not my home. I have to repeat this to myself regularly, but frankly it's foundational to understanding everything else in this life.

2) Evil is very bad and we are not immune from it in this world. And rather than shaking my faith, this reminds me exactly why I desperately need a Savior. I need Jesus to save me from my own sin within me. And I long for King Jesus established on this earth as the sovereign authority who rules with complete justice. When God's kingdom is fully established, there will be no more murder. There will be no more sickness.

3) Happy is a yuppie word. I struggle with the term happy. It isn't a fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, and peace are not necessarily grown in our lives through traditionally "happy" circumstances. Yet the beatitudes use the term freely. Blessed or happy are the spiritually bankrupt, those who mourn, the meek, those who thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and, maybe most surprising, those who are persecuted for righteousness. Whatever happiness/blessedness is in Scripture, it is counterintuitive. I'm learning to think about happiness in new ways.

4) Our need for God is better highlighted in hard circumstances. When life is good, I inevitably gloss over my need for Him. But His unchanging character is the only anchor for my soul when life gets messy.

If you've had a life-shaking, perspective changing event rock your world recently, I recommend spending some time in Hebrews 11-13. Three years ago, the Lord saved me from despair through that section of Scripture. It reminded me that hardship, persecution, and endurance have been common to the Christian life since shortly after time began, and they will continue to be so until Christ returns. It also reminds me that despite it all, God's purposes can not be shaken. It teaches me that my new normal is really just the old normal with complacency removed.


Hebrews 12
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Does Life Really Go On?

This past Monday I had an overwhelming push to pray for my foreign and domestic neighbors. I began to rehash memories of first finding out the several fatalities that have happened this past year--ranging from natural disasters to tragic accidents. It is so easy to become engrossed by these things when they first happen. Feelings of remorse, compassion, guilt, sadness, and motivation to act all flood our minds. Then days, weeks, months go by and these seemingly large impacts on our lives are distant memories. Not so distant that its impact is minimized but that the initial proclivity that is associated with first finding out about a tragedy is not the same. A few hours after I had this burden to recollect and pray the same for people as if I'd first heard about a crisis, I received news that a friend from my college years whom I met at church died tragically. It's one thing when someone dies tragically and you hear the news but its much different when someone who you've shared experiences with, talked with, hugged, laughed with, touched or they made quite an impression on your life passes....it shatters reality. I began to feel like I was in a dream-like state and the news that I heard was not true...we did not lose Kat! I've lost several people that were close to me, majority family. Mourning and understanding grief has seemingly come easy. Or at least that's what I'd like to think. I tried not to go on facebook because for commemorative purposes people have put up pictures of her, I even participated. It hurts...it also places life in perspective. Even though those that were all connected to Kat are in different places in their lives both figuratively and literally, we've all come together because of our love for her and prayers. She was such a cool, laid-back, awesome person! I am most comforted because she loved and valued her relationship with God. I remember thinking when we were in our 'church' circle just how radiant her relationship with Christ was, she displayed the Gospel and helped a lot of young women feel welcomed in the 'household of faith.' This is so bizarre and I--even though these feelings are not new--fluctuate between feelings of confusion, anger, pain, comfort, happiness, joy, peace, and sadness. Largely due to the fact that she was so young, so beautiful and an eager young woman who had a zest for life and love. Then I am reminded that even though she is absent here, she is present in heaven! She's received the greatest reward,Christ himself and can worship Him in her glorified body. That is amazing! However, I'd be lying if I didn't say I am deeply hurt...

Yesterday, my devotional expounded on Isaiah 54. Isaiah is full of prophecy on future "peace," this peace is only the peace that comes from "right relationship with the living, sovereign, Lord." Basically, even amid tragedy, chaos, danger, or fear we have an unwavering hope that is found in Jesus. We've been reconciled with God! What a peace and joy that comes from knowing that! Amid trial and triumph God's sovereignty provides us with much trust. Even though we may not see it, it all has a purpose and usually that is to make big of Him. Oh glory!  Horatio Spafford's, "It is Well" recapitulates this theme of God's sovereignty; and the peace and power found in the Cross. This song swells in my heart often, because I find myself often in trial, tragedy, triumph, regret, and repentance--it just tells of my heart perfectly during those times.The context in which he wrote this song makes me appreciate it even more ( you should look it up)!

It Is Well With My Soul

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Horatio Spafford

Today, I passed out and attempted to talk to staffers and congressman about the International Religious Freedom Act 2011 Amendments. The staff and I  split up between the House office buildings and went to town! Although it wasn't anything sensational, i.e. I didn't get in heated debates with congressman or anything fancy smancy...I still felt like I contributed toward raising awareness and bringing attention to protecting persons from religious persecution. This legislation would help bring to light where this is taking place. Christians are getting persecuted all over the world and there is not much attention being brought to this fact. Although I advocate from a Christian worldview, there are several other places where religious liberties are not granted to those that desire to practice their faith, whatever that may be. The government "tolerates" Christian ideals and religious freedom but it doesn't mean these ideals are always being endorsed by the government in legislation, politics or public affairs. Anyhow, great day on the Hill and way to get my mind off things. Thank you Lord for answering my prayer for more of a "praying life." This experience will continue to be part of my life grain...

Life really never goes on...because the good times, bad times, times of enrichment, times of denial, times of tragedy and times of loss all make a permanent impression on our lives. It makes us who we are. It molds our perceptions on life. Kat and all of those I've lost through death or just because of the processes and rigors of life...will always be with me. Life never really goes on....

Ash 

Country Girl in the City

I haven't forgotten about my thoughts on womanhood, sisterhood, and women's ministry. That was my point of reference at that time. Although still relevant and I would like to expand my thoughts on those topics further, my context has changed a little and I want to chart my way through where I am now.

Day #2 on the Hill! I am so excited about this sanctifying and purposeful extended stay here this summer. My internship is blending of my interests when it comes to advocacy, law, strategic pr and transforming the culture with the Gospel. Can you feel my excitement!! I love this place, I love the newness, I am eager to learn and take in everything! I am excited about church hoppin' and networking! I love dressing up and being in such a conservative, professional yet laid back setting...ahhh so me! I am sure the newness will fade but in the meantime, I am prayerful that I will approach each day with this same type of vigor. I am so extremely humbled and grateful for God's provision and keeping me through it all. I don't deserve this...

My church back home is doing a new series titled, "Losers." It's adapted from the scripture reference Philippians 3:7-9. " For whatever gain I have, I count it loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus my Lord. For his sake, I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I might gain Christ." Throughout my Christian walk this has always been a incessant theme. Even when I boldly declare this and inwardly my heart seeks to hold to things in this world that may seem "successful" or "right" or "good"  but really they have the capability to take me away from my devotion to Christ. In reality, any gain doesn't compare to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ. He is the ultimate satisfaction and delight. I am in constant prayer that in everything my ultimate aim is to gain Christ in all that I do. I aim to do that while I am here, seeking to ever grow in  Him! Learning more about what my "vocation" or "calling" looks like and how it can bring God the most glory ( I by that I don't mean making loads of money, or engaging hundreds of people but pointing those to Christ and Him crucified, opening up ways to bring justice and redemption to this broken world).  

All I know is that I need him every day, hour, sec, and milli sec because I am wickity-wack!! I wish I could describe how wack lol! Much of my depressions comes from trusting in my own merit and strength as hard as it is to admit that...trying to prove to God that I "can do it" like a young child riding a bike without the training wheels for the first time. He's in control and I am so glad that I have trust in His complete sovereignty and providence not only in my life but this lifetime. Lord, your steadfast loves endures forever and I am so glad that you love me...keep my heart near to you! 

P.S. I probably stick out like a sore thumb because I am practically always smiling! Just a country girl in the city and this time not for a visit! I am in my own little world... viewing every site, taking in the scenary and all the beautiful people it brings me to smile...can't help it! Hopefully, I am not bringing too much attention to myself. A bus driver stopped to tell me that I was just smiling and seemed so happy and to keep it up! Hahahaha! For the most part I think I am fitting in very well! ; ) 

Ash 

From: Practical Theology for Women

How Knowing God Makes a Difference in Our Daily Lives

http://www.theologyforwomen.org/2010/06/womens-ministry-as-means-of-grace.html



Women's Ministry as a Means of Grace

I’ve been intrigued by the idea of a “means of grace” since rooming with a thoughtful Presbyterian my freshman year of college. It is distinctly different from human works that earn God’s grace or favor (which are nonexistent). But though I don’t work for it or earn it, God still talks of particular activities as special conduits of His grace to His children. Prayer, Bible study, the preaching of the Word, and communion are specific ways that God promises to minister grace to us. If you are struggling with sin, struggle, or temptation, avail yourself of the means of grace. Pray, read your Bible, sit under good preaching, and God promises peculiar help for overcoming in your trial. It’s not a cure-all for what ails you, but it definitely helps.

When contemplating the means of God’s grace, it is most humbling and awe-inspiring to know that I can be a means of His grace.

Eph. 4:29 (KJV) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Our words to each other have the potential to minister God’s grace to those in our hearing! To me, that is an incredible goal – that my words would minister grace to those who hear me. That those in my hearing would be pointed to Christ and feel equipped to apply the gospel to their issues through my words. It’s just an awe-inspiring goal.

Several women have asked me my perspective on building a gospel-centered women’s ministry. I think this idea of a means of grace is a good foundation. Our women’s ministries need to be places that minister God’s grace to those in our hearing. But how do we do that? I don’t know exactly, but I plan to ponder this over the next few weeks and offer my thoughts as I process them.

My first thought stems from what is becoming the foundational truth of this blog – grace is meaningless without truth, but truth will KILL you without grace. If our women’s ministries are going to minister authentic gospel grace to those who participate, we have to first be places where people can honestly deal with the truth of their condition. It has to be a foundational goal of our functions – women’s bible studies, ladies’ teas, retreats, moms’ groups, and so forth. Is it a safe place for women to honestly face their sins and struggles?

Our church is in the infant stages of women’s ministry. We had our first retreat last fall, which I attended but did not lead in any way. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was exactly what a women’s ministry kickoff should be. They didn’t teach from a particular book of the Bible. It wasn’t focused on how to be a better woman. It didn’t actually have a particular theme. Instead, various leaders in the church simply gave testimony of God’s working in their lives, particularly through brutal circumstances. Some of it was just painful. Some of it though was quite humbling and potentially embarrassing. The first instruction though was that we were to be a safe place for these ladies to be honest. And when your leaders are honest about their pain and shame, it paves the way for those in your ministry to do the same. And you CANNOT apply gospel grace in healing ways until people are honest.

It may be honesty about our own sins. It may be honesty about how others have sinned against us. It may be frank discussion of our personal trials. It may be brutal honesty over our temptations. But each of these must first be brought into the light before they can be soaked in the gospel.

What would happen in your women’s small group bible study if a lady admitted her struggle with sexual immorality JUST THAT WEEK? Would you recoil in horror? Would everyone just clam up? Would you feel that you have to make a point that everyone knows how wrong that is? I remember opening up about something painful in my very first community group. It wasn’t a sexual issue, in fact I can’t now remember what the issue was. But I can definitely remember everyone’s response. They all just shockingly clammed up. I opened up, and it ended the conversation. And I never opened up in that group again. In fact, I was humiliated. I THOUGHT this was supposed to be the place to find support and equipment for dealing with this struggle. And instead, I felt, not exactly condemnation, but embarrassing, awkward silence.

I have heard from SO many women over the years that have finally had a moment of clarity about their sin or other’s sins against them just to be met with condemnation or silence when they brought it into the light. So they learn that church is not a safe place to be honest about sin. And if church isn’t a safe place to bring sin to light, then we are all doomed!


Many of us have spent significant portions of our lives paralyzed by fear of exposure. We respond in groups by either clamming up or deflecting conversation because we DON’T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW THE DEPTH OF OUR ISSUES. And if we ever do give voice to our struggles, we sanitize it. We don’t really want others to know how much we’re hurting right now. And we don’t want anyone to know how much our sin has hurt others.


We must be humble women who are honest about our sin. Instead, so often we are a mix of shame and pride. We’re ashamed of ourselves because of what others have done to us and what we, in turn, have done to others. And we’re too proud to admit it to anyone. We must become women who value CONFESSION. I don’t know where the saying originated that “confession is good for the soul,” but I believe it’s a concept that is taught first in Scripture.

James 5:16 (NAS) Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

Do you notice the link between healing (which we all want) and confession? We all want to be healed from the ugliness in our lives. But are we first willing to confess—to admit, to acknowledge as true—the ugliness in our lives? Women’s ministry leader, are you honest about your sin—not glorifying the ugliness but also not pretending that you finally have it all together?

If you want to foster an environment with this foundation, it may be wise to start with an event where you have some ladies share the truth of both the ugliness of their lives and how the gospel is transforming it. Couple this with instruction on how to hear of someone’s struggles and appropriately respond. The end of Ephesians 4 is a good text to teach from. It sets up well the contrast between words and responses that undermine our transformation, actually snatching grace away in a moment, verses words and responses that minister grace and equip with the gospel.

May our women’s ministries first and foremost be places where women in our churches can come to receive grace from God that equips them to deal with the issues in their lives.

Ha! Who was I kidding...

Whew!

Now that things have slowed down, I can update this thing more often! Picking up where I left off...

"A Changed People, Change the World"

I appreciate guys like Pastor Mason! Especially in my context--his teaching is Christological, gospel-centered, theologically rich and he still maintains his "urban-swagger" (if that makes any kind of sense..lol). I am blessed to sit up under such teaching at Vision Church where Pastor Jerome Gay is lead pastor. Anyhow, that wasn't the reason for this entry. This sermon or talk at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary rocked my socks off (didn't preach me happy it preached me to repentance) and I encourage you to take a listen! The prayer that he says as the end is what I am going to adapt in my prayers. Its essential...

Post Coming on some foundational things concerning womanhood, women in ministry, sisterhood (will touch on a bit of why I chose to join a black lettered greek organization; some social, theological and faith issues will be addressed also).

Gravity--how things have changed

Oh I forgot to mention how things have changed as mentioned in my last post! Even though I said next post I would be going through some foundational things when exploring the topic of biblical womanhood....I meant the NEXT, NEXT post...lol!

Well right now, I think God is really softening my heart...at times I say to myself: I am ready. You know?...to be found. Some times I am sure I know what I want, other times I don't know what I deserve, other times I don't know what I desire and then other times I am confident in what I want. All over the place right? Other times, I am like, ok Ashlee, no you're not!...you have to get this and this together and be as close to perfect in order to "be" ready. However, we ALL know that will not happen until Christ himself comes back and I'll be made like Him. No one is perfect and my good friend and married woman, Norma Jean said it best and put it all in perspective when encouraging me: "I thank you for you who you WERE and who you ARE---i'm not worried about the rest right now :) just like the song says that's out right now, by JJ Heller "Love me for me" "to love me for who l am not what I will become!" I'm not pressed about the extra, God isn't either! Don't think you must become a close to perfect person :-)  Marriage brings upon great opportunities to grow in Christ..." 


I am taking that advice all in. It can be implied in my reference to an old post in the last post...my heart is doing push-ups, laps, some extreme "cardio" (hahaha get it?...*crickets*...) for being vulnerable and placing it out there. It doesn't seem that far of a conception now either. I say that is progress? Don't you?

This is one of my favorite songs and songwriters. It is amazing how such beautiful songs are adapted out of a heartbreak or at least it is said she wrote this after a break up.  Of course parts of this song reminds me of the love that Jesus has for me. It also reminds me of that initial "attraction" where you're "liking" the person and its completely against your will. No matter what you do that person seems to present themselves in your thoughts. It is a phenomena but at the same time it makes all the sense just like "gravity."

Shaping an Apologetic for Biblical Womanhood

Womanhood and in particular, biblical womanhood has been very appealing to me lately and I have gained a passion toward redefining it and reviving it, especially in my community.  Well what does "my community" look like? Black single parent homes, male roles are assumed by the female, pop-culture is nurturing our young women and many also assume the role of bitter, anti-black man or anti-man (until the next one comes along and breaks her heart) strong, hear-me-roar woman...and especially in my circle I see this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jamfKOqkAFQ

In a book, I am reading (for fun, WOW...lol..go me)! Women's Ministry in the Local Church by Ligon Duncan and Susan Hunt, Susan Hunt answers it best on why the church needs an apologetic on biblical womanhood...because I think it is over looked. She says: " Biblical womanhood and worldly womanhood are radically different just as everything about the Christian life is counter cultural, and counterintuitive. Without a biblical apologetic for womanhood, individual women and women's ministries will lose their way." 

Things have changed since my last post--which I deleted but here is a snippet--not really a snippet because I am LOOOOOONNNNGG WINDED--but it gives life to this "issue:" 

"Also what has drawn to me to writing about relationships is because I had two distinct instances where I had a strong awareness--where time actually stood still and I viewed life as if I was viewing it under a microscope. One instance, was when I was preparing for my high school small group, I cannot recall what exactly what we were studying but I was thinking of an illustration to give them. All of sudden, I had a vision of a ginormous hand. I was at the center of the palm of this hand. I was a small little speck. Then I zoomed in and it was me looking around in amazement. I felt safe, secure, and every where I looked or ran there was the expanse of this hand. Sing it with me, " He's got the whole world in his hand..." No, it did however remind me that God has me. That is so reassuring and brings me such joy. Although, I was the only one on this hand, I was not alone. Which leads me to my next epiphany, which has gotten me in a little panic.

I was driving. Which I like to do. It's a stress reliever. I just ride with my music blasting. Even though it's probably some Jesus music (literally), people probably think I need some "16's" and hydraulics but, hey that is how I listen to my music. I digress. I came into the sudden realization that I have a major problem. It's a problem that deals with my sexuality ( no I am not gay..lol..I will break this down later) and my outlook on relationships. I concluded, that at the rate I am going and my present views may lead me to never marry, that I may be alone the rest of my life *wakes up in a night sweat* lol. Now, that may be a major problem in itself for some people. My problem? Is that I just may be OK with that....LOL! I looked around in my car...alone. I function much throughout the week alone. I live alone. I have no one to consult to ( besides parents, family, close friends). But much of my life functions in solitude. Gasp! I have no reservations regarding that. I could do it the rest of my life. How selfish! Now, don't get me wrong. I love people. I am around amazing people often. Those that know me, know I think community is very important. I have a lot of "friends" BUT At the end of the day, I'm alone. I guess the thing is that although I am alone, I am not lonely. That is primarily because of the illustration I gave previously : )

In light of this realization, that I could possibly be a spinster or a nun. I often get, why are you single? Umm...sheeez let me pull out my list of reasons why? Heck, I don't know. All I say is I am content, I am really in no place where my future boo has found me, I guess? I also get pressure...major pressure from family and friends. It is quite annoying actually. I go out to dinner with family and they try to hook me up with the waiter. Like I am some kind of "lost cause." Or I get, " I do want some nieces or nephews from you before I go away (DIE)." " I do want some grandchildren before you reach 40." Really? What the piss...? I am freakin' 25 years of age. What is the dern rush? Even in my previous ancient relationship, I still felt and functioned...alone(for several reasons). I just don't know any other life....lol. My friends who are married and have acquired this new ministry of marriage want to spread the joy of being married are always seeking ways in which to give me my "groove" back and always put me in the following situations: "Ashlee! That man just looked at you, I think he likes you." or " what about such and such, he would be great for you." or simply inviting a bachelor to an event in hopes that something will be sparked when in reality the boy is no where near my type. I love my family and friends and I am sometimes flattered by the "attention" ( or annoyed) I just don't have the energy.

This realization has also caused me to repent and to reshape my sexuality. Usually, when one refers to sexuality they refer to sexual orientation, sex, sexual immorality (i.e. homosexuality, masturbation, fornication, sexual paganism etc.) but we also neglect the components of sexuality that give rise to for instance, feminism or the "Jesus is my lover, the lover of my soul and I don't need a man-ISM." In Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem by way of Harry Schaumberg, they write: " to say that our eyes image God, remember is not to say that God has eyes; it is rather to say that our eyes picture something divine. Similarly, our sexuality pictures God's attributes and capacities." So in this quest of seeking after God and trusting Him with my future and future mate, praying for God to redeem my past experience in poor relationships...I've lost my womanhood, my sexuality. Don't worry, I am not gay and I am very much feminine and enjoy being a WOMAN. But hear me out.

"So God created man to his own image of God he created him; male and female he created them ( Genesis 1:27, ESV). Therefore, everything a male or female images God, ALTHOUGH God is divine He is neither male or female. It's ok for me to be vulnerable and desire relationship with a godly man. It's ok to express my femininity and desire to be cherished. I say those things emphatically so they will be impressed on my mind  because sin has distorted my conception of my sexuality in that I am so neutral and so "into myself" that I've lost sight of what it really means to be feminine. Thinking that it is something wrong with that intuitive nature in me wanting to be cherished. I often time pick on these desperate females, especially those that are surrounded by my brothers-in-Christ. LOL, but now I have a new found respect for these women because at least they are coming into contact with their feminine side.

 I am very much a nurturer but I will also be quick to say that I am independent and if I needed something I don't need a man to hash out all my insecurities or push my dependency on--that's why I have Jesus. Even though overtly I do not resemble the very thing that I absolutely HATE about my mother--who is very much amazing ( but she's definitely not perfect) is her distorted role of femininity/womanhood. Growing up and even now she has never been much of sterotypical mother or description of an ideal mother. I actually got much of my nurturing growing up from my Grandmother and oddly enough Father. Don't get me wrong I get hugs and occasional kisses from my mother. But the good old warmth and constant nurturing lacked in my growing up. Not to mention, because of her quest of making a better life for my sister and I, and achieving her goals---the woman just worked a lot. Ordinarily, in certain contexts the man is the breadwinner or workaholic but this woman is the definition. She is a true black, renaissance woman. Which is very much positive and I even aim to be like her in certain of these aspects. However, it has also caused her to be somewhat 'controlling,' every dynamic of her life is modeled strategically and in an administerial role-from her dealings with her children ( which is why we bump heads sometime because I am my "own person"), family and even in her marriage. Praise God, she is married to a patient guy and they "tolerate" each other. Although, at one time before my stepfather got sick with cancer they both carried the household and both made a significant amount of "change." so salary has nothing to do with her distorted role, I think it may be how she was brought up. Also, a lot of black women her age are also like that...so who know's, maybe I will research one day. I tell her all the time, I would have a domestic violence charge if I were her husband LOL. I don't see her very vulnerable toward him or you know...submissive, girlish etc. I despise that! Because I think that no matter what!... a man should feel like he's THE man. I don't care if I make majority of the household income or have more degrees or can benchpress 150...he is MY MAN and HE will know that in EVERY way. I am thankful for growing up a in a household where I got to see the mother and father interact but there are a tons of sociological theories that can be derived out of my family, extended family etc. (LOL).

So the very thing that I despise, is being played out maybe not in the specific area like my mother's situation because you can ask any of the 2 boyfriends I've had in my life, how I act in a "relationship." They would probably say I was a pretty good girlfriend. (You say, well why aren't you with them)? Good question? Several reasons which will not be elaborated here. But they would. It is being played out in my flawed conception of my womanhood. I lost it. That is probably the very reason, I could see myself, alone for the rest of my life and be OK with it. Nothing is wrong with that...Paul was single. Single, celibate people can bring God a lot of glory. However, I do not think that is my testimony...lol. It could also be the reason, I desire to be "equal" with men, I hate feeling like the weakest link or getting the impression from a man as if I am not adequate or capable of thinking logical or  philosophical or heck change a tire. I do have an ounce of me that would like a family and children--to bring God glory that way. Plus, I also think I would make a pretty good wife and companion--I look forward to being a goofball with my husband for the rest of my life.

I repent. Praying that God redeem my conceptions, my sexuality, my past hurts, failed relationships, missed opportunities. Although, I may not ease up on the tunnel vision or expressly state that I desire to be cherished and be like Ezekiel's wife and be the DELIGHT of my husband's eye one day--I do acknowledge it. Plus, it is written here...it's official. I don't have to do or say it...it's here. HAHA!..." 

 Next post I'm taking a look at some foundational things to consider when getting into this topic.