The topic of homosexuality is such a tense topic these days. As the 'gay-agenda' has surmounted in this age and transcended to what some say a "civil-rights" issue (which I totally and irrefutably disagree with) has taken on much momentum. My views on this are highly conservative and I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. This institution is the foundation of many social and moral ideals that especially impact our world (especially the black community). Before, I get thrown into the pompous and judgmental pool of ultra-conservatism I would have to make mention that one of my good friends is gay. I actually just talked to her a few days ago, I love her dearly. She knows and understands my stance on her lifestyle but it has not changed the way I relate or am a friend to her and vice versa. The true mark of a Christian, I believe is not being judgmental and rude but with the same depth of love and grace God has shown me as a sinner, I must show to others. This is what I also aim to do. She loved me when I was in a compromising, heterosexual relationship what is the difference loving her in her situation as well? I digress...
....with as much opposition I have for homosexuality as a moral issue, I am also very antagonistic toward government using their methods of power in a way that pushes out American citizen's autonomy. This blog post is motivated by NY law makers vote to legalize same-sex marriage. Well, just when I sought to write on it...ERLC staffer writes the following which explores some but not all of my issues with the legislation and its implication to redefine marriage.
Posted today, here's the link: http://erlc.com/article/empire-state-strikes-against-marriage/
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
All the Single Ladies put your Hands Down!
All the single ladies, all my single ladies...put your hands up? I am not much of TV person largely due to the trash that is on it. So I may be a little behind, but I noticed on my twitter, tweets about the VH1 show, "Single Ladies." The title in itself peeked my curiosity and because I am a "single lady," I was excited to see how I was being represented. The fact that it also highlighted a group of black women made me want to clue in even more. Boy, was I in for disappointment. Check the trailer out: Single Ladies Trailer.
This may be a different tone from me than normal but I am totally annoyed at this show. So, allow my soap box moment. Aside from the poor acting, the representation of women to me was totally repulsive. I also could have not been more disappointed at the portrayal of black, single women on the show. I do not think this gives a good representation of the "single life" and does not provide single women (or any woman with that matter) with an effective message while they are in their "single-hood." First, the message totally lacked values. Throughout the episode all I saw was women unashamedly, flaunting their sexuality around, giving “it” up to men left and right, messages of “do you” at any cost even it meant cheating, lying, and manipulating others. In addition to these dumb, and deplorable messages it seemed like “soft porn.”
I am offended because as a single woman and black, single woman (because the show clearly is aimed toward that demographic) I don’t go throwing my cookies around to every man that I meet or act on every impulse, or seek satisfaction from any type of attention from a man. I don’t throw my sexuality and body around to get sex or attention, and I am waiting until I get married to do the “do”...AND that whole “do you” advice around my way will get your feelings hurt. I shouldn’t be the only one offended because I know many women that do not indulge themselves in that way also. Some may say well Ashlee you do not have a man. That has absolutely nothing to do with anything because my offense is still grounded in the fact that it does not paint an accurate picture or promote a good message. I also have gained wisdom from others and my past.
This may be a different tone from me than normal but I am totally annoyed at this show. So, allow my soap box moment. Aside from the poor acting, the representation of women to me was totally repulsive. I also could have not been more disappointed at the portrayal of black, single women on the show. I do not think this gives a good representation of the "single life" and does not provide single women (or any woman with that matter) with an effective message while they are in their "single-hood." First, the message totally lacked values. Throughout the episode all I saw was women unashamedly, flaunting their sexuality around, giving “it” up to men left and right, messages of “do you” at any cost even it meant cheating, lying, and manipulating others. In addition to these dumb, and deplorable messages it seemed like “soft porn.”
I am offended because as a single woman and black, single woman (because the show clearly is aimed toward that demographic) I don’t go throwing my cookies around to every man that I meet or act on every impulse, or seek satisfaction from any type of attention from a man. I don’t throw my sexuality and body around to get sex or attention, and I am waiting until I get married to do the “do”...AND that whole “do you” advice around my way will get your feelings hurt. I shouldn’t be the only one offended because I know many women that do not indulge themselves in that way also. Some may say well Ashlee you do not have a man. That has absolutely nothing to do with anything because my offense is still grounded in the fact that it does not paint an accurate picture or promote a good message. I also have gained wisdom from others and my past.
It also provokes one to think that single-hood is one of inadequacy and that as women we should try to be with someone no matter what it takes. It would have helped the “Single Ladies” case if the show was even slightly entertaining! Of course I cannot just speak from morality sake because some may not agree. I can speak from a practical sense. Those women seeking fulfillment in getting physical is counterfeit. Plus they are devaluing their beautiful, powerful, and precious femininity by just seeking to have sex and attention from a man. What type of message is that sending a man?...a lack of empowerment? Who would want to take a woman serious if they so easily succumb to lust and give "it" up so easily. The show just doesn't paint a fair picture of single women, which is my final critique.
I cannot be too upset because at least it portrays just how the world is “wacked out.” It also highlights how women search for identity in things or men. These things or men only leave them empty and unsatisfied, hence the women on the show's incessant quest for love and validation. It also shows how a distorted view on one’s femininity produces a distorted view of one’s identity...Lisa Ray's character is the epitome of this.
To all my single ladies especially the writers of the show who obviously have a distorted world view I implore them to find the hope and full satisfaction that is found in Jesus Christ. To know that God, humbled himself to become man; loved me so very much that he would take on my sin; died a death that was meant for me; took on the wrath of God in order to reconcile me is incomparable to any earthly desire or love from man. The overwhelming completion that is found by having an identity in Christ will make the single life that much more fruitful. I cannot say...because of our natural tendency to want love from a man will go away and we’ll inherit super powers to overcome those feelings...especially when all those around us are getting married or getting in relationships etc. However, single-hood is so rewarding because we have such liberty to go through life and experience things that others may not. Plus, oh how much more devoted we can be to God. You can also have a great time exploring what you like, your womanhood, make a few mistakes, grow and learn!
I cannot be too upset because at least it portrays just how the world is “wacked out.” It also highlights how women search for identity in things or men. These things or men only leave them empty and unsatisfied, hence the women on the show's incessant quest for love and validation. It also shows how a distorted view on one’s femininity produces a distorted view of one’s identity...Lisa Ray's character is the epitome of this.
To all my single ladies especially the writers of the show who obviously have a distorted world view I implore them to find the hope and full satisfaction that is found in Jesus Christ. To know that God, humbled himself to become man; loved me so very much that he would take on my sin; died a death that was meant for me; took on the wrath of God in order to reconcile me is incomparable to any earthly desire or love from man. The overwhelming completion that is found by having an identity in Christ will make the single life that much more fruitful. I cannot say...because of our natural tendency to want love from a man will go away and we’ll inherit super powers to overcome those feelings...especially when all those around us are getting married or getting in relationships etc. However, single-hood is so rewarding because we have such liberty to go through life and experience things that others may not. Plus, oh how much more devoted we can be to God. You can also have a great time exploring what you like, your womanhood, make a few mistakes, grow and learn!
I Peter 2: 9-10
Colossians 1:21-22
Romans 6: 8-10
1 Corinthians 7:32-35
Friday, June 24, 2011
From: http://www.theologyforwomen.org/2011/06/new-normal.html
So relevant...
Three years ago this month, my aunt was murdered. I remember my sister's story of the moment she had to tell my family. They were all on family vacation in the mountains. My sister got the call on her cell phone from another aunt. She told me she just stared at the scene in front of her--everyone enjoying the mountain air and time together as family--knowing that the news she had to share would change everything. It was a surreal moment. She did tell everyone, and nothing has been the same. Three years have passed. It's fully incorporated into our lives now. It's the new normal.
I've been thinking about this new normal. What has changed now? Besides all the obvious changes surrounding such a tragic loss, the foundation of change in my personal life has been, simply, my perspective. God shook the snow globe of my life, and some truths that were obscured by complacency have now taken a more prominent place in my thinking. Here are some truths that are front and center now.
1) This world is not my home. I have to repeat this to myself regularly, but frankly it's foundational to understanding everything else in this life.
2) Evil is very bad and we are not immune from it in this world. And rather than shaking my faith, this reminds me exactly why I desperately need a Savior. I need Jesus to save me from my own sin within me. And I long for King Jesus established on this earth as the sovereign authority who rules with complete justice. When God's kingdom is fully established, there will be no more murder. There will be no more sickness.
3) Happy is a yuppie word. I struggle with the term happy. It isn't a fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, and peace are not necessarily grown in our lives through traditionally "happy" circumstances. Yet the beatitudes use the term freely. Blessed or happy are the spiritually bankrupt, those who mourn, the meek, those who thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and, maybe most surprising, those who are persecuted for righteousness. Whatever happiness/blessedness is in Scripture, it is counterintuitive. I'm learning to think about happiness in new ways.
4) Our need for God is better highlighted in hard circumstances. When life is good, I inevitably gloss over my need for Him. But His unchanging character is the only anchor for my soul when life gets messy.
If you've had a life-shaking, perspective changing event rock your world recently, I recommend spending some time in Hebrews 11-13. Three years ago, the Lord saved me from despair through that section of Scripture. It reminded me that hardship, persecution, and endurance have been common to the Christian life since shortly after time began, and they will continue to be so until Christ returns. It also reminds me that despite it all, God's purposes can not be shaken. It teaches me that my new normal is really just the old normal with complacency removed.
Hebrews 12
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
So relevant...
A New Normal
I have had a few circumstances over the last 4 years that have grown and changed me. Inevitably, it is hard, not easy, circumstances that change us deeply.
Three years ago this month, my aunt was murdered. I remember my sister's story of the moment she had to tell my family. They were all on family vacation in the mountains. My sister got the call on her cell phone from another aunt. She told me she just stared at the scene in front of her--everyone enjoying the mountain air and time together as family--knowing that the news she had to share would change everything. It was a surreal moment. She did tell everyone, and nothing has been the same. Three years have passed. It's fully incorporated into our lives now. It's the new normal.
I've been thinking about this new normal. What has changed now? Besides all the obvious changes surrounding such a tragic loss, the foundation of change in my personal life has been, simply, my perspective. God shook the snow globe of my life, and some truths that were obscured by complacency have now taken a more prominent place in my thinking. Here are some truths that are front and center now.
1) This world is not my home. I have to repeat this to myself regularly, but frankly it's foundational to understanding everything else in this life.
2) Evil is very bad and we are not immune from it in this world. And rather than shaking my faith, this reminds me exactly why I desperately need a Savior. I need Jesus to save me from my own sin within me. And I long for King Jesus established on this earth as the sovereign authority who rules with complete justice. When God's kingdom is fully established, there will be no more murder. There will be no more sickness.
3) Happy is a yuppie word. I struggle with the term happy. It isn't a fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, and peace are not necessarily grown in our lives through traditionally "happy" circumstances. Yet the beatitudes use the term freely. Blessed or happy are the spiritually bankrupt, those who mourn, the meek, those who thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and, maybe most surprising, those who are persecuted for righteousness. Whatever happiness/blessedness is in Scripture, it is counterintuitive. I'm learning to think about happiness in new ways.
4) Our need for God is better highlighted in hard circumstances. When life is good, I inevitably gloss over my need for Him. But His unchanging character is the only anchor for my soul when life gets messy.
If you've had a life-shaking, perspective changing event rock your world recently, I recommend spending some time in Hebrews 11-13. Three years ago, the Lord saved me from despair through that section of Scripture. It reminded me that hardship, persecution, and endurance have been common to the Christian life since shortly after time began, and they will continue to be so until Christ returns. It also reminds me that despite it all, God's purposes can not be shaken. It teaches me that my new normal is really just the old normal with complacency removed.
Hebrews 12
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Does Life Really Go On?
This past Monday I had an overwhelming push to pray for my foreign and domestic neighbors. I began to rehash memories of first finding out the several fatalities that have happened this past year--ranging from natural disasters to tragic accidents. It is so easy to become engrossed by these things when they first happen. Feelings of remorse, compassion, guilt, sadness, and motivation to act all flood our minds. Then days, weeks, months go by and these seemingly large impacts on our lives are distant memories. Not so distant that its impact is minimized but that the initial proclivity that is associated with first finding out about a tragedy is not the same. A few hours after I had this burden to recollect and pray the same for people as if I'd first heard about a crisis, I received news that a friend from my college years whom I met at church died tragically. It's one thing when someone dies tragically and you hear the news but its much different when someone who you've shared experiences with, talked with, hugged, laughed with, touched or they made quite an impression on your life passes....it shatters reality. I began to feel like I was in a dream-like state and the news that I heard was not true...we did not lose Kat! I've lost several people that were close to me, majority family. Mourning and understanding grief has seemingly come easy. Or at least that's what I'd like to think. I tried not to go on facebook because for commemorative purposes people have put up pictures of her, I even participated. It hurts...it also places life in perspective. Even though those that were all connected to Kat are in different places in their lives both figuratively and literally, we've all come together because of our love for her and prayers. She was such a cool, laid-back, awesome person! I am most comforted because she loved and valued her relationship with God. I remember thinking when we were in our 'church' circle just how radiant her relationship with Christ was, she displayed the Gospel and helped a lot of young women feel welcomed in the 'household of faith.' This is so bizarre and I--even though these feelings are not new--fluctuate between feelings of confusion, anger, pain, comfort, happiness, joy, peace, and sadness. Largely due to the fact that she was so young, so beautiful and an eager young woman who had a zest for life and love. Then I am reminded that even though she is absent here, she is present in heaven! She's received the greatest reward,Christ himself and can worship Him in her glorified body. That is amazing! However, I'd be lying if I didn't say I am deeply hurt...
Yesterday, my devotional expounded on Isaiah 54. Isaiah is full of prophecy on future "peace," this peace is only the peace that comes from "right relationship with the living, sovereign, Lord." Basically, even amid tragedy, chaos, danger, or fear we have an unwavering hope that is found in Jesus. We've been reconciled with God! What a peace and joy that comes from knowing that! Amid trial and triumph God's sovereignty provides us with much trust. Even though we may not see it, it all has a purpose and usually that is to make big of Him. Oh glory! Horatio Spafford's, "It is Well" recapitulates this theme of God's sovereignty; and the peace and power found in the Cross. This song swells in my heart often, because I find myself often in trial, tragedy, triumph, regret, and repentance--it just tells of my heart perfectly during those times.The context in which he wrote this song makes me appreciate it even more ( you should look it up)!
Today, I passed out and attempted to talk to staffers and congressman about the International Religious Freedom Act 2011 Amendments. The staff and I split up between the House office buildings and went to town! Although it wasn't anything sensational, i.e. I didn't get in heated debates with congressman or anything fancy smancy...I still felt like I contributed toward raising awareness and bringing attention to protecting persons from religious persecution. This legislation would help bring to light where this is taking place. Christians are getting persecuted all over the world and there is not much attention being brought to this fact. Although I advocate from a Christian worldview, there are several other places where religious liberties are not granted to those that desire to practice their faith, whatever that may be. The government "tolerates" Christian ideals and religious freedom but it doesn't mean these ideals are always being endorsed by the government in legislation, politics or public affairs. Anyhow, great day on the Hill and way to get my mind off things. Thank you Lord for answering my prayer for more of a "praying life." This experience will continue to be part of my life grain...
Life really never goes on...because the good times, bad times, times of enrichment, times of denial, times of tragedy and times of loss all make a permanent impression on our lives. It makes us who we are. It molds our perceptions on life. Kat and all of those I've lost through death or just because of the processes and rigors of life...will always be with me. Life never really goes on....
Ash
Yesterday, my devotional expounded on Isaiah 54. Isaiah is full of prophecy on future "peace," this peace is only the peace that comes from "right relationship with the living, sovereign, Lord." Basically, even amid tragedy, chaos, danger, or fear we have an unwavering hope that is found in Jesus. We've been reconciled with God! What a peace and joy that comes from knowing that! Amid trial and triumph God's sovereignty provides us with much trust. Even though we may not see it, it all has a purpose and usually that is to make big of Him. Oh glory! Horatio Spafford's, "It is Well" recapitulates this theme of God's sovereignty; and the peace and power found in the Cross. This song swells in my heart often, because I find myself often in trial, tragedy, triumph, regret, and repentance--it just tells of my heart perfectly during those times.The context in which he wrote this song makes me appreciate it even more ( you should look it up)!
It Is Well With My Soul
When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
Horatio Spafford
Today, I passed out and attempted to talk to staffers and congressman about the International Religious Freedom Act 2011 Amendments. The staff and I split up between the House office buildings and went to town! Although it wasn't anything sensational, i.e. I didn't get in heated debates with congressman or anything fancy smancy...I still felt like I contributed toward raising awareness and bringing attention to protecting persons from religious persecution. This legislation would help bring to light where this is taking place. Christians are getting persecuted all over the world and there is not much attention being brought to this fact. Although I advocate from a Christian worldview, there are several other places where religious liberties are not granted to those that desire to practice their faith, whatever that may be. The government "tolerates" Christian ideals and religious freedom but it doesn't mean these ideals are always being endorsed by the government in legislation, politics or public affairs. Anyhow, great day on the Hill and way to get my mind off things. Thank you Lord for answering my prayer for more of a "praying life." This experience will continue to be part of my life grain...
Life really never goes on...because the good times, bad times, times of enrichment, times of denial, times of tragedy and times of loss all make a permanent impression on our lives. It makes us who we are. It molds our perceptions on life. Kat and all of those I've lost through death or just because of the processes and rigors of life...will always be with me. Life never really goes on....
Ash
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Country Girl in the City
I haven't forgotten about my thoughts on womanhood, sisterhood, and women's ministry. That was my point of reference at that time. Although still relevant and I would like to expand my thoughts on those topics further, my context has changed a little and I want to chart my way through where I am now.
Day #2 on the Hill! I am so excited about this sanctifying and purposeful extended stay here this summer. My internship is blending of my interests when it comes to advocacy, law, strategic pr and transforming the culture with the Gospel. Can you feel my excitement!! I love this place, I love the newness, I am eager to learn and take in everything! I am excited about church hoppin' and networking! I love dressing up and being in such a conservative, professional yet laid back setting...ahhh so me! I am sure the newness will fade but in the meantime, I am prayerful that I will approach each day with this same type of vigor. I am so extremely humbled and grateful for God's provision and keeping me through it all. I don't deserve this...
My church back home is doing a new series titled, "Losers." It's adapted from the scripture reference Philippians 3:7-9. " For whatever gain I have, I count it loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus my Lord. For his sake, I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I might gain Christ." Throughout my Christian walk this has always been a incessant theme. Even when I boldly declare this and inwardly my heart seeks to hold to things in this world that may seem "successful" or "right" or "good" but really they have the capability to take me away from my devotion to Christ. In reality, any gain doesn't compare to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ. He is the ultimate satisfaction and delight. I am in constant prayer that in everything my ultimate aim is to gain Christ in all that I do. I aim to do that while I am here, seeking to ever grow in Him! Learning more about what my "vocation" or "calling" looks like and how it can bring God the most glory ( I by that I don't mean making loads of money, or engaging hundreds of people but pointing those to Christ and Him crucified, opening up ways to bring justice and redemption to this broken world).
All I know is that I need him every day, hour, sec, and milli sec because I am wickity-wack!! I wish I could describe how wack lol! Much of my depressions comes from trusting in my own merit and strength as hard as it is to admit that...trying to prove to God that I "can do it" like a young child riding a bike without the training wheels for the first time. He's in control and I am so glad that I have trust in His complete sovereignty and providence not only in my life but this lifetime. Lord, your steadfast loves endures forever and I am so glad that you love me...keep my heart near to you!
P.S. I probably stick out like a sore thumb because I am practically always smiling! Just a country girl in the city and this time not for a visit! I am in my own little world... viewing every site, taking in the scenary and all the beautiful people it brings me to smile...can't help it! Hopefully, I am not bringing too much attention to myself. A bus driver stopped to tell me that I was just smiling and seemed so happy and to keep it up! Hahahaha! For the most part I think I am fitting in very well! ; )
Ash
Thursday, June 9, 2011
From: Practical Theology for Women
How Knowing God Makes a Difference in Our Daily Lives
Women's Ministry as a Means of Grace
I’ve been intrigued by the idea of a “means of grace” since rooming with a thoughtful Presbyterian my freshman year of college. It is distinctly different from human works that earn God’s grace or favor (which are nonexistent). But though I don’t work for it or earn it, God still talks of particular activities as special conduits of His grace to His children. Prayer, Bible study, the preaching of the Word, and communion are specific ways that God promises to minister grace to us. If you are struggling with sin, struggle, or temptation, avail yourself of the means of grace. Pray, read your Bible, sit under good preaching, and God promises peculiar help for overcoming in your trial. It’s not a cure-all for what ails you, but it definitely helps.
When contemplating the means of God’s grace, it is most humbling and awe-inspiring to know that I can be a means of His grace.
Eph. 4:29 (KJV) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Our words to each other have the potential to minister God’s grace to those in our hearing! To me, that is an incredible goal – that my words would minister grace to those who hear me. That those in my hearing would be pointed to Christ and feel equipped to apply the gospel to their issues through my words. It’s just an awe-inspiring goal.
Several women have asked me my perspective on building a gospel-centered women’s ministry. I think this idea of a means of grace is a good foundation. Our women’s ministries need to be places that minister God’s grace to those in our hearing. But how do we do that? I don’t know exactly, but I plan to ponder this over the next few weeks and offer my thoughts as I process them.
My first thought stems from what is becoming the foundational truth of this blog – grace is meaningless without truth, but truth will KILL you without grace. If our women’s ministries are going to minister authentic gospel grace to those who participate, we have to first be places where people can honestly deal with the truth of their condition. It has to be a foundational goal of our functions – women’s bible studies, ladies’ teas, retreats, moms’ groups, and so forth. Is it a safe place for women to honestly face their sins and struggles?
Our church is in the infant stages of women’s ministry. We had our first retreat last fall, which I attended but did not lead in any way. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was exactly what a women’s ministry kickoff should be. They didn’t teach from a particular book of the Bible. It wasn’t focused on how to be a better woman. It didn’t actually have a particular theme. Instead, various leaders in the church simply gave testimony of God’s working in their lives, particularly through brutal circumstances. Some of it was just painful. Some of it though was quite humbling and potentially embarrassing. The first instruction though was that we were to be a safe place for these ladies to be honest. And when your leaders are honest about their pain and shame, it paves the way for those in your ministry to do the same. And you CANNOT apply gospel grace in healing ways until people are honest.
It may be honesty about our own sins. It may be honesty about how others have sinned against us. It may be frank discussion of our personal trials. It may be brutal honesty over our temptations. But each of these must first be brought into the light before they can be soaked in the gospel.
What would happen in your women’s small group bible study if a lady admitted her struggle with sexual immorality JUST THAT WEEK? Would you recoil in horror? Would everyone just clam up? Would you feel that you have to make a point that everyone knows how wrong that is? I remember opening up about something painful in my very first community group. It wasn’t a sexual issue, in fact I can’t now remember what the issue was. But I can definitely remember everyone’s response. They all just shockingly clammed up. I opened up, and it ended the conversation. And I never opened up in that group again. In fact, I was humiliated. I THOUGHT this was supposed to be the place to find support and equipment for dealing with this struggle. And instead, I felt, not exactly condemnation, but embarrassing, awkward silence.
I have heard from SO many women over the years that have finally had a moment of clarity about their sin or other’s sins against them just to be met with condemnation or silence when they brought it into the light. So they learn that church is not a safe place to be honest about sin. And if church isn’t a safe place to bring sin to light, then we are all doomed!
Many of us have spent significant portions of our lives paralyzed by fear of exposure. We respond in groups by either clamming up or deflecting conversation because we DON’T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW THE DEPTH OF OUR ISSUES. And if we ever do give voice to our struggles, we sanitize it. We don’t really want others to know how much we’re hurting right now. And we don’t want anyone to know how much our sin has hurt others.
We must be humble women who are honest about our sin. Instead, so often we are a mix of shame and pride. We’re ashamed of ourselves because of what others have done to us and what we, in turn, have done to others. And we’re too proud to admit it to anyone. We must become women who value CONFESSION. I don’t know where the saying originated that “confession is good for the soul,” but I believe it’s a concept that is taught first in Scripture.
James 5:16 (NAS) Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
Do you notice the link between healing (which we all want) and confession? We all want to be healed from the ugliness in our lives. But are we first willing to confess—to admit, to acknowledge as true—the ugliness in our lives? Women’s ministry leader, are you honest about your sin—not glorifying the ugliness but also not pretending that you finally have it all together?
If you want to foster an environment with this foundation, it may be wise to start with an event where you have some ladies share the truth of both the ugliness of their lives and how the gospel is transforming it. Couple this with instruction on how to hear of someone’s struggles and appropriately respond. The end of Ephesians 4 is a good text to teach from. It sets up well the contrast between words and responses that undermine our transformation, actually snatching grace away in a moment, verses words and responses that minister grace and equip with the gospel.
May our women’s ministries first and foremost be places where women in our churches can come to receive grace from God that equips them to deal with the issues in their lives.
I have heard from SO many women over the years that have finally had a moment of clarity about their sin or other’s sins against them just to be met with condemnation or silence when they brought it into the light. So they learn that church is not a safe place to be honest about sin. And if church isn’t a safe place to bring sin to light, then we are all doomed!
Many of us have spent significant portions of our lives paralyzed by fear of exposure. We respond in groups by either clamming up or deflecting conversation because we DON’T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW THE DEPTH OF OUR ISSUES. And if we ever do give voice to our struggles, we sanitize it. We don’t really want others to know how much we’re hurting right now. And we don’t want anyone to know how much our sin has hurt others.
We must be humble women who are honest about our sin. Instead, so often we are a mix of shame and pride. We’re ashamed of ourselves because of what others have done to us and what we, in turn, have done to others. And we’re too proud to admit it to anyone. We must become women who value CONFESSION. I don’t know where the saying originated that “confession is good for the soul,” but I believe it’s a concept that is taught first in Scripture.
James 5:16 (NAS) Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
Do you notice the link between healing (which we all want) and confession? We all want to be healed from the ugliness in our lives. But are we first willing to confess—to admit, to acknowledge as true—the ugliness in our lives? Women’s ministry leader, are you honest about your sin—not glorifying the ugliness but also not pretending that you finally have it all together?
If you want to foster an environment with this foundation, it may be wise to start with an event where you have some ladies share the truth of both the ugliness of their lives and how the gospel is transforming it. Couple this with instruction on how to hear of someone’s struggles and appropriately respond. The end of Ephesians 4 is a good text to teach from. It sets up well the contrast between words and responses that undermine our transformation, actually snatching grace away in a moment, verses words and responses that minister grace and equip with the gospel.
May our women’s ministries first and foremost be places where women in our churches can come to receive grace from God that equips them to deal with the issues in their lives.
Friday, June 3, 2011
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