From: Practical Theology for Women
How Knowing God Makes a Difference in Our Daily Lives
Women's Ministry as a Means of Grace
I’ve been intrigued by the idea of a “means of grace” since rooming with a thoughtful Presbyterian my freshman year of college. It is distinctly different from human works that earn God’s grace or favor (which are nonexistent). But though I don’t work for it or earn it, God still talks of particular activities as special conduits of His grace to His children. Prayer, Bible study, the preaching of the Word, and communion are specific ways that God promises to minister grace to us. If you are struggling with sin, struggle, or temptation, avail yourself of the means of grace. Pray, read your Bible, sit under good preaching, and God promises peculiar help for overcoming in your trial. It’s not a cure-all for what ails you, but it definitely helps.
When contemplating the means of God’s grace, it is most humbling and awe-inspiring to know that I can be a means of His grace.
Eph. 4:29 (KJV) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Our words to each other have the potential to minister God’s grace to those in our hearing! To me, that is an incredible goal – that my words would minister grace to those who hear me. That those in my hearing would be pointed to Christ and feel equipped to apply the gospel to their issues through my words. It’s just an awe-inspiring goal.
Several women have asked me my perspective on building a gospel-centered women’s ministry. I think this idea of a means of grace is a good foundation. Our women’s ministries need to be places that minister God’s grace to those in our hearing. But how do we do that? I don’t know exactly, but I plan to ponder this over the next few weeks and offer my thoughts as I process them.
My first thought stems from what is becoming the foundational truth of this blog – grace is meaningless without truth, but truth will KILL you without grace. If our women’s ministries are going to minister authentic gospel grace to those who participate, we have to first be places where people can honestly deal with the truth of their condition. It has to be a foundational goal of our functions – women’s bible studies, ladies’ teas, retreats, moms’ groups, and so forth. Is it a safe place for women to honestly face their sins and struggles?
Our church is in the infant stages of women’s ministry. We had our first retreat last fall, which I attended but did not lead in any way. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was exactly what a women’s ministry kickoff should be. They didn’t teach from a particular book of the Bible. It wasn’t focused on how to be a better woman. It didn’t actually have a particular theme. Instead, various leaders in the church simply gave testimony of God’s working in their lives, particularly through brutal circumstances. Some of it was just painful. Some of it though was quite humbling and potentially embarrassing. The first instruction though was that we were to be a safe place for these ladies to be honest. And when your leaders are honest about their pain and shame, it paves the way for those in your ministry to do the same. And you CANNOT apply gospel grace in healing ways until people are honest.
It may be honesty about our own sins. It may be honesty about how others have sinned against us. It may be frank discussion of our personal trials. It may be brutal honesty over our temptations. But each of these must first be brought into the light before they can be soaked in the gospel.
What would happen in your women’s small group bible study if a lady admitted her struggle with sexual immorality JUST THAT WEEK? Would you recoil in horror? Would everyone just clam up? Would you feel that you have to make a point that everyone knows how wrong that is? I remember opening up about something painful in my very first community group. It wasn’t a sexual issue, in fact I can’t now remember what the issue was. But I can definitely remember everyone’s response. They all just shockingly clammed up. I opened up, and it ended the conversation. And I never opened up in that group again. In fact, I was humiliated. I THOUGHT this was supposed to be the place to find support and equipment for dealing with this struggle. And instead, I felt, not exactly condemnation, but embarrassing, awkward silence.
I have heard from SO many women over the years that have finally had a moment of clarity about their sin or other’s sins against them just to be met with condemnation or silence when they brought it into the light. So they learn that church is not a safe place to be honest about sin. And if church isn’t a safe place to bring sin to light, then we are all doomed!
Many of us have spent significant portions of our lives paralyzed by fear of exposure. We respond in groups by either clamming up or deflecting conversation because we DON’T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW THE DEPTH OF OUR ISSUES. And if we ever do give voice to our struggles, we sanitize it. We don’t really want others to know how much we’re hurting right now. And we don’t want anyone to know how much our sin has hurt others.
We must be humble women who are honest about our sin. Instead, so often we are a mix of shame and pride. We’re ashamed of ourselves because of what others have done to us and what we, in turn, have done to others. And we’re too proud to admit it to anyone. We must become women who value CONFESSION. I don’t know where the saying originated that “confession is good for the soul,” but I believe it’s a concept that is taught first in Scripture.
James 5:16 (NAS) Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
Do you notice the link between healing (which we all want) and confession? We all want to be healed from the ugliness in our lives. But are we first willing to confess—to admit, to acknowledge as true—the ugliness in our lives? Women’s ministry leader, are you honest about your sin—not glorifying the ugliness but also not pretending that you finally have it all together?
If you want to foster an environment with this foundation, it may be wise to start with an event where you have some ladies share the truth of both the ugliness of their lives and how the gospel is transforming it. Couple this with instruction on how to hear of someone’s struggles and appropriately respond. The end of Ephesians 4 is a good text to teach from. It sets up well the contrast between words and responses that undermine our transformation, actually snatching grace away in a moment, verses words and responses that minister grace and equip with the gospel.
May our women’s ministries first and foremost be places where women in our churches can come to receive grace from God that equips them to deal with the issues in their lives.
I have heard from SO many women over the years that have finally had a moment of clarity about their sin or other’s sins against them just to be met with condemnation or silence when they brought it into the light. So they learn that church is not a safe place to be honest about sin. And if church isn’t a safe place to bring sin to light, then we are all doomed!
Many of us have spent significant portions of our lives paralyzed by fear of exposure. We respond in groups by either clamming up or deflecting conversation because we DON’T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW THE DEPTH OF OUR ISSUES. And if we ever do give voice to our struggles, we sanitize it. We don’t really want others to know how much we’re hurting right now. And we don’t want anyone to know how much our sin has hurt others.
We must be humble women who are honest about our sin. Instead, so often we are a mix of shame and pride. We’re ashamed of ourselves because of what others have done to us and what we, in turn, have done to others. And we’re too proud to admit it to anyone. We must become women who value CONFESSION. I don’t know where the saying originated that “confession is good for the soul,” but I believe it’s a concept that is taught first in Scripture.
James 5:16 (NAS) Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
Do you notice the link between healing (which we all want) and confession? We all want to be healed from the ugliness in our lives. But are we first willing to confess—to admit, to acknowledge as true—the ugliness in our lives? Women’s ministry leader, are you honest about your sin—not glorifying the ugliness but also not pretending that you finally have it all together?
If you want to foster an environment with this foundation, it may be wise to start with an event where you have some ladies share the truth of both the ugliness of their lives and how the gospel is transforming it. Couple this with instruction on how to hear of someone’s struggles and appropriately respond. The end of Ephesians 4 is a good text to teach from. It sets up well the contrast between words and responses that undermine our transformation, actually snatching grace away in a moment, verses words and responses that minister grace and equip with the gospel.
May our women’s ministries first and foremost be places where women in our churches can come to receive grace from God that equips them to deal with the issues in their lives.
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