Does Life Really Go On?

This past Monday I had an overwhelming push to pray for my foreign and domestic neighbors. I began to rehash memories of first finding out the several fatalities that have happened this past year--ranging from natural disasters to tragic accidents. It is so easy to become engrossed by these things when they first happen. Feelings of remorse, compassion, guilt, sadness, and motivation to act all flood our minds. Then days, weeks, months go by and these seemingly large impacts on our lives are distant memories. Not so distant that its impact is minimized but that the initial proclivity that is associated with first finding out about a tragedy is not the same. A few hours after I had this burden to recollect and pray the same for people as if I'd first heard about a crisis, I received news that a friend from my college years whom I met at church died tragically. It's one thing when someone dies tragically and you hear the news but its much different when someone who you've shared experiences with, talked with, hugged, laughed with, touched or they made quite an impression on your life passes....it shatters reality. I began to feel like I was in a dream-like state and the news that I heard was not true...we did not lose Kat! I've lost several people that were close to me, majority family. Mourning and understanding grief has seemingly come easy. Or at least that's what I'd like to think. I tried not to go on facebook because for commemorative purposes people have put up pictures of her, I even participated. It hurts...it also places life in perspective. Even though those that were all connected to Kat are in different places in their lives both figuratively and literally, we've all come together because of our love for her and prayers. She was such a cool, laid-back, awesome person! I am most comforted because she loved and valued her relationship with God. I remember thinking when we were in our 'church' circle just how radiant her relationship with Christ was, she displayed the Gospel and helped a lot of young women feel welcomed in the 'household of faith.' This is so bizarre and I--even though these feelings are not new--fluctuate between feelings of confusion, anger, pain, comfort, happiness, joy, peace, and sadness. Largely due to the fact that she was so young, so beautiful and an eager young woman who had a zest for life and love. Then I am reminded that even though she is absent here, she is present in heaven! She's received the greatest reward,Christ himself and can worship Him in her glorified body. That is amazing! However, I'd be lying if I didn't say I am deeply hurt...

Yesterday, my devotional expounded on Isaiah 54. Isaiah is full of prophecy on future "peace," this peace is only the peace that comes from "right relationship with the living, sovereign, Lord." Basically, even amid tragedy, chaos, danger, or fear we have an unwavering hope that is found in Jesus. We've been reconciled with God! What a peace and joy that comes from knowing that! Amid trial and triumph God's sovereignty provides us with much trust. Even though we may not see it, it all has a purpose and usually that is to make big of Him. Oh glory!  Horatio Spafford's, "It is Well" recapitulates this theme of God's sovereignty; and the peace and power found in the Cross. This song swells in my heart often, because I find myself often in trial, tragedy, triumph, regret, and repentance--it just tells of my heart perfectly during those times.The context in which he wrote this song makes me appreciate it even more ( you should look it up)!

It Is Well With My Soul

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Horatio Spafford

Today, I passed out and attempted to talk to staffers and congressman about the International Religious Freedom Act 2011 Amendments. The staff and I  split up between the House office buildings and went to town! Although it wasn't anything sensational, i.e. I didn't get in heated debates with congressman or anything fancy smancy...I still felt like I contributed toward raising awareness and bringing attention to protecting persons from religious persecution. This legislation would help bring to light where this is taking place. Christians are getting persecuted all over the world and there is not much attention being brought to this fact. Although I advocate from a Christian worldview, there are several other places where religious liberties are not granted to those that desire to practice their faith, whatever that may be. The government "tolerates" Christian ideals and religious freedom but it doesn't mean these ideals are always being endorsed by the government in legislation, politics or public affairs. Anyhow, great day on the Hill and way to get my mind off things. Thank you Lord for answering my prayer for more of a "praying life." This experience will continue to be part of my life grain...

Life really never goes on...because the good times, bad times, times of enrichment, times of denial, times of tragedy and times of loss all make a permanent impression on our lives. It makes us who we are. It molds our perceptions on life. Kat and all of those I've lost through death or just because of the processes and rigors of life...will always be with me. Life never really goes on....

Ash